A little over a year ago, my first daughter accurately accused me of being a Curmudgeon.  Admittedly, I had to go and research its' meaning and at first blush, I did not like what I read and was slightly offended.  The deeper I dug; however, the more that I realized that my daughter had nailed my nature to a "T" and I decided that this monicker was one that I was totally going to embrace.

Webster's definition is not very flattering...with synonyms being:  grouch, crank, bear, sourpuss, crosspatch.  However, the more accurate description of the modern-day Curmudgeon I share below...along with a basic list of "how to become a curmudgeon" - borrowed from another website.  Read it with fair warning though, for you may find yourself wanting to cross over to the dark side of curmudgeonism!

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Have you finally given up on becoming a sex god, movie star, billionaire or genius during your life?  You may be ready to become a curmudgeon!
Curmudgeons are falsely believed to be grumpy old men, along the lines of Walter Matthau or Andy Rooney.  The truth is we can be any gender or any age.  Curmudgeons are supremely independent thinkers, very wise, and have excellent senses of humor!

TRAITS:
CURMUDGEONS ARE NOT PLEASERS!  You must not care to be popular or liked.  If that matters to you, go to therapy!
CURMUDGEONS ARE NOT CRABBY:  That is a myth.  We tell the truth, and some people don't like that.  
CURMUDGEONS DO NOT FOLLOW TRENDS! :  You must learn to think for yourself!
CURMUDGEONS DO NOT SHOP:  Find something else to do with your time, like go for walks, or take up a craft (it does not need to be a good or useful craft)
CURMUDGEONS DO NOT LIKE NEW THINGS:
CURMUDGEONS DRESS FOR COMFORT: Women, throw out those tight clothes, thongs, high heels and pantyhose.  Men, throw out the white button-down shirts, ties and belts.  Use suspenders instead.  Wear things that feel good and let you breathe!
CURMUDGEONS FIND JOY IN CARING LESS WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK AND UNINHIBITED EXPRESSION OF LONG REPRESSED TRUTHS