BATTER MATTERS - (short & sweet)

1. Add 2/3 cup cool water to container; replace lid tightly.
2. Shake container hard for 30 seconds.
3. Pour batter onto hot greased skillet
4. Wait for bubbles….Flip

These are the directions of how to make pancakes with Bisquick’s “Shake N Pour”. Sounds pretty easy doesn’t it?  Five minutes tops from first realizing you want some hot, buttery, griddled goodness to digging in...ending up satisfied and sticky in the strangest of places.  My dad use to say he could eat pancakes with a 10-foot fork and still manage to get syrup on his elbow.  

So you can imagine how cramped my crumpets got this morning when I learned about the newest convenience for a lazy America…..IHOP-N-GO!   THAT’s RIGHT...select parts of the country can now order a short-stack delivered to their door in the same amount of time they could make a mountain of flap-jacks, pay bills, shave, shower and comb the hair on their emotional-support squirrel.  Come-on IHOP!

If people don’t have the time (or energy) to flip a flapjack, then they probably should look into freeing up some time in their schedule instead of calling YOU for a Rooty Tooty Fresh & Fruity that’s gonna show up at their door with the texture of a sweet rubber chicken.  Just the thought of that crepes me out!  While you’re at it, make sure to bring me one of those sanitary syrup racks that’s a 4-bottle habitat for every germ known to man.  Yeah...I’ll gladly pay $12 for spongy cakes with a side of ptomaine.  Yum Yum!  #STOPTHESLOPIHOPSOIWONTHAVE2MOP

Curmudgeon Out!
"Things aren't as bad as they seem...they're worse!" - Bill Press

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