I'm A-Pikin' & I'm A-Grinnin'

The last time I took a bath was 18 months ago during our master bathroom remodel.  Our shower stall was torn down to the studs…and I had clumsily broken my right ankle a few weeks before.  It was quite the production too…like a wooly mammoth sliding into the pool at Seaworld.   "Wife" wanted to put it on YouTube and see how many views we could get.

I'm a shower man…plain and simple.  My routine consists of (in order): 

1. Shampoo hair…rinse.  
2. Wash face…rinse.  
3. Lather up all skin, parts, cracks & crevices…rinse.  

Done…5-minutes tops and I'm squeaky clean.

So imagine my reaction the other morning as my dental hygienist, Candace, starts pitching me on the newest way to fight gingivitis…a ShowerPik Water Flosser.   THAT'S RIGHT…water flossing while you shower.  Supposedly, a lot of "men" (she said) like this method because it's a time saver in the morning.

This had me contemplating the rest of the time she spent scraping the plague off my molars.  The first thing I thought of was the episode of Seinfeld - when Kramer is trying to be more time-efficient…and starts washing and prepping his produce in the shower.

The fact is, I would probably need a Clarkman disposer installed if I started Shower-Pikin'…especially after "wife's" roast-beef night.  Blast those stringy strands out between my teeth and I'm gonna need some serious horsepower to keep the drains flowing freely.   We've been married 30 years this month - and it's still tough!  (the roast-beef that is).

No thanks Candace!  I know I need to start flossing…and I appreciate your concerned reprimand and suggestions for my gums and overall health.  But I'll just continue with my own routine and brush (and ok occasionally floss) at the bathroom sink.  I'll leave the Pickin' & Grinnin' to Buck & Roy and the whole Hee Haw gang!

Curmudgeon Out!
                                           "Things are not as bad as they seem...they're worse!" - Bill Press