McCrazy Week!

While nothing surprises me anymore, I am still constantly amazed at this crazy world in which we live.  This past week especially highlights that fact.  NFL abuse scandals, our President looking directly into the camera and saying ISIS isn't Islamic, Anniversary of 9/11, the semantic smoke & mirrors of not saying "War" when we're about to bomb the crap out of Syria…etc.

Obviously, these are all serious issues and God-sized problems to which I only know to pray and try to take comfort that HE is in ultimate control.  I encourage all of you to do the same.

But then there's the low-lying fruit that provides fabulous fodder for your trusty, curmudgeon servant…such as: 

McBrunch
Evidently, McDonald's has filed for a patent for the term "McBrunch"…which implies that they are considering offering some of their delicious items to enjoy over a slower-paced weekend "experience" at MickeyDee's.  Ummmm, I don't know about you, but just the thought of what scrumptuous fare they plan to roll out makes me want to McPUKE!!!  Somebody pass me a bottomless orange-drink McMimosa so I can McDrown myself.

Burger King Black Burger
Burger King Japan will now feature a brand new burger, all-black from bun to bun. The Kuro Burger has bread and cheese, both blackened by bamboo charcoal, and a special sauce made from squid ink.  YUMMY, can't wait until these come stateside so I can grab one at lunch and then return to work with my teeth looking like I've got a mouth full of crickets!

Thermadome Laser Helmet LH-80 Pro
THAT's RIGHT…a helmet you strap on your head, that shoots 80 laser beams into your thinning scalp in a desperate attempt to stop hair loss and stimulate growth.  Now there's a smart idea!  While I have some close personal friends that could benefit from this apparatus, I can promise you that whatever few follicles they could sprout back on their dome would not be worth the verbal abuse from me for wearing such a stupid-looking device around the house.  Maybe one could wear it while donning their Lance Armstrong spandex and fool everyone while riding their Schwinn on our tax-paid bicycle lanes that I've seen 3 people use over the last 5 years.  You could call it follicycling.

Stores Start Christmas Early
BAH-HUMBUG, BOO…HISS!!!  We're just past Labor Day and there are stores in Clearwater Florida already decking their aisles promoting Christmas.  K-Mart, Wal-Mart, Hobby Lobby…how about I come and deck you!  You may try and pass it off as "consumer demand" but we all know your motive…and it ain't the "reason for the season"!  Otherwise, you would wait for the season!  Get it???  You greedy, bottom-line focused fools.  Don't you corporate Scrooge's realize that; "The most enduring traditions of the season are best enjoyed in the warm embrace of kith and kin. Thith tree is a thymbol of the thpirit of the Griswold family Chrithmath?"  (CLICK HERE for the clip)
Thanks for your big-box store mindset and contribution to ruining the anticipation and family/spiritual connection that comes with Christmas.  You SUCK!

Curmudgeon McOut!

                           "Things are not as bad as they seem...they are worse!"....Bill Press