OLD McDONALD NEEDS A WIFE - E.I.E.I.O.

Evidently, there is a bumper crop of desperate farmers, ranchers and good ole country folks out there...all lonely and looking for love in that virtual cornfield...the internet. Shucks Paw...the irony.

The website is “FarmersOnly.com” and their tag line is; “City folks just don't get it”. Well, I grew up in a pretty rural community and I don't get it either, especially after watching this commercial featuring talking cows. Please watch this – it's only 30 seconds.

How could this commercial inspire over 1 million people (according to their website) to plant their profile in this fertile ground of workaholics and weirdos? How would one reach out at first? What would that initial correspondence read like I wonder???:

Hi, my name is Mr. Green Jeans and I ran across your profile on FarmersOnly.com. You sure are a pretty little Philly. Is that a recent picture? I noticed that you mentioned "nothing cranks your tractor quite like plowing the back 40 on a dusty day"...oh, and that you have 6 children – ages 4 to 30. When I read that, I knew you were a good match for me. 

I'm 42 years old and have worked all my life on this farm and never took the time to meet any real women. With all the livestock around, it didn't even occur to me until recently that I was lonely. But I think I'm ready now to hitch my Massey Ferguson to a strong country girl like you.  Someone who understands me, and would want to settle down and share this ole sod-buster's dream. Would you like to meet this Saturday at the Co-Op and then follow me back to the barn to help me slaughter a few hogs for the church Bar-b-que?

Somebody pass the pitchfork where I can stab myself!

Curmudgeon Out!
                                                           "Things are not as bad as they seem.  They are worse"....Bill Press